A Matured Relationship
Articles about "putting the romance back into your relationship" flood websites and popular magazines constantly and one would think that by now this issue would have been solved. There should now be a guaranteed scientific remedy on how to keep romance in a relationship. But, there is obviously no remedy and this failure implies that if there is not any or enough romance in a relationship, that relationship has no substance.
American society's sex-starved culture contributes at least 5% to the divorce rate because it places too much emphasis on sexual relations and romantic endeavors in a relationship when there are many other more important aspects of a relationship that help them grow and remain stable. Diamonds, pearls, candy, and hearts are good but mutual respect and cooperation is the soul of any relationship.
Generally speaking, concerns about a dying relationship based on lack of romance are problems women face. Men view the relationship lifeline on an entirely different spectrum, like plans and goals for the future and how they will be achieved. But no one knows where to find articles about "stabilizing your relationship for the future" anywhere.
Although there is no scientific method of stabilizing your relationship or keeping the romance in it, there are proven methods that work based on the primary nature of the relationship.
In all areas of a relationship, romantically, financially, and psychologically, there is a phenomenon known as maturity that fashions a relationship and helps it grow. Just like raising a child, there are stages of growth and development. Only in a relationship, both personalities partake of this growth as one.
In the beginning of a relationship, courtship and dating allow couples to know one another; their habits and flaws, strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, tolerances, and goals. If the couple can mutually endure and even appreciate these traits in their mate, then on to stage two.
Stage two usually whines up in some form of commitment such as living together, engagement, or marriage and the couple cohabitates with one another and learn even more. Also, the couple share relationships with other couples and establish an understanding and mutual respect with one another when relating to other people.
During both stages, the romance is passionate and strong. Sexual relations may occur on a frequent basis like daily or every other day. Walks and talks along with outings and vacations are enjoyed and spontaneity is alive depending on the hobbies of the couples. According to many articles, this is the expected level of romance that a relationship should have throughout its lifetime.
However, this theory is seriously flawed, especially if the couple plans to live the rest of their lives together. Romance and spontaneity will lapse over the years and the actual foundation of the marriage has to take root. People have to, at some point plan for the future of their families and allow romance and merriment in moderation.
The future of a relationship is founded on estate planning and plans for children if any. There must be a solid foundation to build careers and family on, plans for future schooling, extended family relations, and possibilities for any business ventures. The couple must correlate their personal goals and characteristics into a oneness that would strengthen their future plans.
This planning stage kicks in after the days of romance and adventure die down and the couple find themselves in a routine. During the routine, there are challenges that come from the indubitable laws of nature and confront the couple to try and test their devotion, trust, and level of commitment. Naturally, romance decreases because the couple must mentally and psychologically work out any differences and problems that arise.
When the romance lessens during this stage it is normal, and any efforts to improve the romance may interfere with the growth. It is not a good time to initiate the practice of improving romance; it should come naturally like after moments of apology and acceptance, or in instances of mutual attraction If one attempt to push romance on the other and the other is not completely over any animosity or anger, it could frustrate the situation even more. They may feel disrespected and even violated.
Romance occurs naturally in any vibrant relationship. Spontaneity occurs just the same. Never, ever, force either into a relationship if the relationship is in an awkward stage or time period during one of these stages. Allow the relationship to grow and mature on its own without any second-guessed advice from quickie-starved magazine article.
Romance is not the only ingredient in a relationship; respect and support for one another comprises a large part. If romance is placed higher than the others are, it could put a strain on the others. Not to say that romance is not important, but from a male perspective, it is not top priority as compared to any future plans and stability.
After all three stages of a relationship are successfully achieved; any couple would find themselves satisfied with the level of romance. Basically, if a couple can endure the stages, the romance was never actually a problem.
Valentines day, anniversaries, birthdays, and Christmas holidays are occasions where couples are supposed to show their affection for one another through the giving of gifts. If these are the only times romance is a part of your relationship and it takes an effort to spark the romance, it does not necessarily mean that the romance is dead, it simply means that there is a problem in another area of the relationship that was never resolved.
Love, raising children and eventually growing old together is the basic idea of a serious relationship. If a person goes into a relationship thinking that romance is key to a lasting relationship they are sadly mistaken. Relying on America's sex-quickie remedies to enhance your love life is a mistake. However, to trust in the natural stages of relationship development is wise and will definitely incorporate romance at normal intervals when needed.Back to News